well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
