i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
