is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
