My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
