She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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