don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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