I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
