I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
