what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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