I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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