I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
