so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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