am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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