so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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