i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
