Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
