i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I need a beard to bite.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
