i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
