My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
