it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
