oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
