i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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