Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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