I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Randomize
