And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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