we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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