Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
