no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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