did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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