in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
