The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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