WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Damn victory sex feels great
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
