we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
