I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I would fuck him just for his dog
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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