WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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