When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Shame - the story of my life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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