My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
