There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
