God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
