dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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