I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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