I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
