so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
