I need help removing her.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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