i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
