you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
