whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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