I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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