you mean i was at the winter classic?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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