Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
